Let’s begin with one of my favorite Muppet moments to set the mood:

I love Winnie the Pooh. I loved the Disney film (still do), but I didn’t go in for all the merchandising that came later. I found Pooh and all the friends in the 100 Acre Wood very soothing (still do). In college, I subscribed to the idea of Christopher Robin as a Benevolent Dictator (not so much anymore, I tend to view him as written).

I think it was in 2001, pre-September 11th, and I was having a conversation with my then-boss, Sandra, about how I wasn’t enjoying my work and how when you’re five years old, life is interesting and fun, no matter what you’re doing. I told her I was endeavoring to look at things the way child would – to find the “fun” of life. She looked at me like I was nuts and told me that regressing to childish behavior wasn’t professional.

At that time, I was also watching a lot of Xena: Warrior Princess, it was the final season and I was overdosing on reruns and the fresh episodes. It was during this period that I actually saw the 2-part episode called “The Debt.” During Xena’s flashbacks, we get to know the story of how Xena learns how not to be a psycho marauder from Lao Ma, wife of Lao Tzu (and, in the Xenaverse, the real writer of the Tao Te Ching). This was my first exposure to Taoism.

I am incredibly skeptical of all imported philosophies and or religions (I think they tend to be cherry-picked for the sweetest fruit, and the bitter fruit of true observance are left on the tree to rot) so the idea of Taoism didn’t really impact me. I dismissed it along with all flavors of Westernized Buddhism.

I did, in spite of then-boss’s dismissal, attempt to be a little more childlike in how I viewed the world. I tried to just pay attention to what was in front of me. And that’s really hard for me because (in case we haven’t met yet) I’m anxious and obsessive. I did yoga. I kept journals.

Now, I’ve been kind of living this “Life in Front of Me” thing for about seven years (when I remember, I lost my way somewhere in 2003-2005, and when things get stressful) and never really saw it reflected anywhere else. Close, but never quite exactly, always demanding a level of removal from the world that I’m not comfortable with. My brother also kind of lives this way, much more successfully than I do, I think, but he’s single and that’s like cheating.

It was last summer that I read Pamela Des Barres book I’m with the Band: Confessions of a Groupie and that’s the first place I ever read or heard about “throwing the I Ching” – whatever that was. I assumed it was hippie shit that made no sense and dismissed it (still do). But I piqued my curiosity and one day when I was wandering around the bookstore, I was in the “Religion” section and saw a copy of the I Ching sitting on the shelf and lots of other books called the Tao Te Ching and a copy of The Tao of Pooh. I skipped all the serious looking books and flipped open the Pooh book. And for the first time, I saw some of my very own ideas about how I wanted to live my own life reflected back at me and expanded upon.

So, now I’m reading the Pooh book. And I’m not gonna describe myself as Taoist anytime soon (probably never) but it’s good to be able to start articulating my thoughts in clearer terms and not have it be so much “Cottleston Pie.”