I cannot bring myself to finish anything at work. I fiddle and fart around with all the papers on my desk, review lists, and calendars, but when it comes to the few things I absolutely must do, I have zero motivation.
At home, I just sit or have a lie down. It’s a good thing that Tom has caught the Xmas Spirit this year, because while I’m feeling it, I’m not really doing anything with it and he’s just bustling with holiday energy. I should have taught him to knit!
I just started taking a mood stabilizer about a week ago, but I’m not really noticing any effect yet. It would be nice to not be depressed and anxious all the time, so I’m hoping it starts to work.
I had a pelvic ultrasound earlier this week, which I tweeted about, but I must reiterate I HAD TO WAIT FOR 1.5 HOURS WITH A FULL BLADDER. I think it did some damage, because I have had the sensation of having to pee ever since. Hopefully, it goes away. The actual ultrasound wasn’t so bad, but the techs were nosy but also very clinical and inhuman. Programmed to ask personal questions in the most unfeeling manner, they were annoyed with my when they were unable to locate my left ovary. Of course, I was hiding it from them just to be difficult. So in order to punish my insolence, I had to have an internal ultrasound as well. I have heard horror stories about internal ultrasounds, about how the ultrasound wand is a giant dildo sent from outerspace to impregnate you with it’s alien robot sonar-babies, but I was neither shocked nor impressed by it. It wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable as a speculum, but the tech did bump my cervix a couple of times and that HURT LIKE BEING STABBED IN THE GUT WITH A RUSTY BAYONET.
Of course, they never told me what they were seeing and seemed to think I was wasting their precious sonar tech time by being there, so I take that as a sign that I do not have anything terrible growing in my lower abdomen.
Now I just have to worry about what mutations have been caused by having the rapidly dividing cells of my reproductive organs exposed to high-frequency sound. MERRY FLIPPIN’ XMAS!
I am trying to imagine being *able* to hold it for 1.5 hours and it’s not working. If I have to hold it for like 10 minutes I get the painful weirdness afterward. Yuck.
I, too, had heard horror stories about the intra (inter?)-vaginal ultrasound, but in actuality the wand was laughably small and in my case, the technician was quite careful. Truly, the worst part is not being able to pee. Also, compared to having my uterus scraped, the whole thing was a snooze-fest.
My results were negative. I hope yours are too.
I have too many experiences that I could relate, and it’s boring.
1.5 HOURS WHAT THE HELL.
I was offered that internal ultrasound and the thought of having to hold it in all that time meant I refused. Well done for going through with it!