I have some ideas. For projects. Of course, I have them now, when I really need to be packing and not spending money.
I also am feeling a strong need to come up with some new plan career-wise. I’m just not pleased with where I am. And it’s not that I don’t love working at the synagogue, because I do, but I can’t see myself there long term for a variety of reasons.
I have a compulsive need for change. And my biggest fear is that we are buying this house and then EVERYTHING WILL BE THE SAME FOREVER AND NOTHING CAN CHANGE AND I CAN’T HAVE ANYMORE ADVENTURES.
No, my biggest fear is base jumping off a suspension bride that is covered in spiders, landing in a field full of dinosaurs, and having to escape through a deep cavern that is full centipedes, millipedes, and more spiders, then when I’m home and think I’m finally safe, I’m actually stuck in suburbia for the rest of my life working in an office for someone who doesn’t let me take a lunch AND EVERY DAY IS THE SAME.
And then Tom feels bad because he thinks I’m miserable and it’s all his fault, which isn’t true at all, he’s the first person I go to for comfort and he usually makes everything better. Because he poops rainbows.
I know exactly what you mean.
Yeah.
The adventure fun-ness aside, can Tom teach my hubby to do that?
Interestingly, I’m at the opposite end of the spectrum right now. I don’t want anymore adventures. All my recent adventures have SUCKED. I’ve had adventures in emotionally disabled teen rearing. Adventures in watching a terminally ill parent die. Adventures in becoming a step daughter at the age of 47. I’ve had adventures in my own poor health.
I’m convinced circumstances and nothing organic are the cause of my heart problems. If I didn’t have angsty teens, watch college football and could bring in about $100 extra per month, my resting heart rate wouldn’t be in the triple digits. I long to hunker down in my home with all my familiar things, tell the rest of the world to Go to Hell (including certain members of my family) and take a nap with my cats. And then to maintain that as the status quo for a while. At least until I get my equilibrium back…then perhaps some more adventures.